How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I'm really busy with my period
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