i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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