I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
