do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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