I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
