Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
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I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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