dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
