I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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