I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
