ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
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So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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