I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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