she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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