i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she told me i tasted like america
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
