Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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You literally chaperoned my booty call.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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