you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
