Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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