I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
