i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
