I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
