I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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