I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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