I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
