Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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