Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
