i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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