Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
