i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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