She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
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Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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