TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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