I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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