"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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