Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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