i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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