No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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