At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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