we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
