Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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