I heard we made out
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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