I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.