i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day