He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap