OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish my penis had a tongue
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
