Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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