i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
