True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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