She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
