I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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