I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
