READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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