i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize