I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
