plz talk dirty to me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
