Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
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