Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
