its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
