it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
