I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Randomize
