I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I did not marry a roomba.
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