I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize