I heard we made out
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
