At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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