if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
