We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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