when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're like the curious george of whores
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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