I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i will never coherently bang her
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We need to get me chipped asap
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
