maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
