Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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