shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
